Fuck Bipolar Disorder

Jul 22 2014

Anonymous said: Do you think there's a difference between just comfortable nudity and like prostitution as far as hypersexuality? Because during every manic episode I've tried them all but after my mania was over I realized I actually like nudity because it's something I've always been around and comfy with...but how can I be comfy with one outside of mania and the others make me feel disgusting?

Yes, there’s a vast difference between being comfortable in the nude and sex work, and there are a lot of reasons you might feel disgusting after sex work. I don’t feel comfortable guessing at what factors in your life make you feel that way, It’s a hugely pervasive social stigma (as you may have noticed). For the vast majority of American culture, sex work isn’t a profession, it’s a punchline.


In the manic state, our judgements are compromised. We say and do things we normally wouldn’t, and people can take advantage of that.


You feel comfortable being naked because you should feel comfortable being naked. Humanity didn’t invent fashion until after we were kicked out of Paradise, clothing is a favor we do for other people. If you’re on your own and the blinds are drawn, what’s the harm in being naked? Sex isn’t a sliding scale between “nevernude” and “never says no”, it’s your body and you get to decide what to do with it.

-Sam

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Anonymous said: I don't think I can keep this up anymore. Everyone I know feels like I'm a burden and I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be this way. I never did. Maybe it'd be better if I wasn't here.. I just can't deal with not being in control of my emotions..I don't want to be like this anymore. I can't be like this anymore.

Another ask I wish I had seen sooner. :/  I sincerely hope you are still around to see this.

Anon, I have been where you are. Repeatedly. Frequently. It is an utter, unendurable hell that I would not wish upon anyone. You don’t want to be this way. You never asked for any of this.

But know this, anon: It gets better. It takes time, and treatment, and meds, and above all, work, but it DOES get better, and it is worth it.

It’s worth it, because you stop suffering and find the joy in life. It’s worth it because those who know you, care for you, love you, and there are much more of those than you will ever realize, get to see you doing better.

It;s worth it because in a few years, you may find yourself in a position where, because of your time in the trenches, you can give advice to the next person who finds themselves in the hell you faced, and you can tell them that they DO matter, that it IS worth it, and that no matter how dark it gets, there is light on the way, and they are not alone.

I hope you see this, anon, and I hope you understand. Please send me an ask and let me know that you’re okay.

-Daniel

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Anonymous said: I read my best friends messages to someone else and she said she couldn't handle my problems and "god knows I've always had them" and it just hit me that I'm a fucking burden to her and I'm just really fucked up right now

The first thing to bear in mind is that these messages could be just venting. You have probably had bad days yourself, where someone was a bit hard to handle, and you used harsher words than how you truly felt just to blow off the negative energy. After all, these messages were not meant for you to see.

If you’re worried that you’re asking too much of your friend, your best option is to calmly discuss it with her. I know her words hurt you, but don’t go in looking for a fight. It’s not fair to use words meant for someone else against her. And ultimately, she is your nest friend. She loves you. Remember that, and remember all the times she was there for you when you were upset and hurting, when it felt like your world was coming to an end. You may be burdensome at times, but I assure you that you are much more than that to her, or else, you’d no longer be friends.

The best thing you can do here is to forgive her, and yourself. That may not be easy, or come quickly, but your only other option is to hold on to the hurt, and that does no one any good.

I hope you find peace, anon.

-Daniel

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Anonymous said: My depressive episodes usually happen at night and then i wake up feeling hyperactive and energized as ever, and i was just wondering if that was normal

I follow a similar schedule, honestly- I’m upbeat in the morning, level by afternoon, and any depressive or mixed episodes happen in the evening. In my case, I take my mood stabilizer (Geodon) in the evening, and antidepressants (Viibryd, Wellbutrin) in the morning, so my daily cycle is related to the effective time of my meds.

So, yes, I would say this is normal, for the reason I just cited, as well as for any number of others. If you’re in treatment, you might talk to your doctor about this, and see if your meds, or even the timing of the doses, might need some slight adjustment.

-Daniel

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Anonymous said: Sometimes i feel like you're the only person i can talk to and i just wanted to thank you for always taking the time to listen to my problems when no one else will.

I’m always glad to listen, and I’m sorry for any delay in my reply. I’ve been busy. I hope you can find a good therapist- they can be of much more help than a guy on Tumblr. Regardless, the inbox here is always open. :)

-Daniel

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Anonymous said: My depression episodes are always really intense. I can go from almost killing myself to acting perfectly normal in minutes. I suspect BD but i was wondering if you could give your opinion on what kind you think I'm dealing with

What you describe could very well be the result of bipolar disorder. It can leave your emotions like an open wound, particularly when untreated. It could also be a manifestation of something like Borderline Personality Disorder, or, because mental illness is so much fun, both.

I’m afraid I can’t do much more than give you information, but the intensity of your episodes alone make seeing a doctor a good idea. I hope you find the answers you are looking for, and the treatment you may need.

-Daniel

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Anonymous said: I took some pain killers and my head feels like it's gonna come off and I'm shaking and my heart is beating realky fast and idk why un telling yiu this but idk what go do

First, anon, I want to apologize for not answering sooner. Unfortunately, my Tumblr time is limited.

What you describe sounds very much like a panic attack. They can be infrequent, or even one-time-only things. But if they happen often, you need to see a doctor about them. They can be managed and controlled. If it happens again, tell a parent, guardian, or doctor. Call 911 (or the emergency services line in your country) if you have to. And remember, it WILL pass.

I hope this finds you well, Anon.

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Anonymous said: Sometimes I'm unable to tell if my mood swings are a part of being a teenager (I'm 17) or something more serious. In the past I've struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression but then sometimes things feel normal or I feel oddly "content" which makes things even more frustrating. I'm certain I have trichotillomania too but I don't know if my mood swings are abnormal, and I've never told anyone about anything or my thoughts on having BD or Trich. Should I tell someone? Or am I overreacting??

Depression, and especially suicidal thoughts, are always a serious matter. You absolutely should tell someone, be it a parent or guardian, doctor, or school counselor. Even unipolar depression is not a constant thing; you can have days of less intense symptoms, or even normalcy.

There is nothing wrong with getting checked out, both for your moods, and for your trichotillomania. I hope you get to a better place soon.

-Daniel

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Jul 14 2014

Anonymous said: Hi I'm a 14 year old girl. I think I have bipolar disorder because I get irritated really fast for now apparent reason. My cousin called me bipolar because I get mad easily and that I also don't know how to control my own anger. I'm not sure if I am but ever since I heard my cousin said that to me I have been thinking about it a lot lately.

It certainly would not hurt to get checked out, It is very common for mental illness to manifest with the onset of puberty, though do bear in mind that a certain degree of moodiness is part of being 14. Your brain is developing, and part of that is going to be emotions you’ve not yet learned how to handle.

If you can, explain your symptoms and reasoning to your parents or guardians, and discuss if a mental health evaluation is right for you. Failing that, discuss what you’re going through with your doctor, and see if he or she can discuss things with your parents.

Be well,

Daniel

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Anonymous said: What about those of us who don't suffer from bipolar bur are affected by it? What about us???

It can be very, very hard to love someone with bipolar disorder, particularly if that person is not in treatment. The good news is that there are support groups for friends and family of those with bipolar disorder, both online and off. A web search should help you find out if there’s any such groups where you live. There are sites with information, such as this one, and online communities such as this.

I know it can be frustrating to love someone with bipolar disorder, but you’re probably making a difference, even if it’s not very visible. That being said, it’s okay to draw and enforce boundaries. Do what you need to take care of yourself.

-Daniel

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